I never felt known as a child. When people looked at me, I felt they saw the shell but nothing underneath. I became what people wanted to see when they looked at me; in this way, I created the shell of myself that no one could see beyond. I hid inside the shell. Instinctively I … Continue reading I Told Myself I Would Be Real
There are things we do not discuss openly in every family I’m part of. Things that have happened, things that have been done, things that are going on now. There are whispers, meant to be confidential, then more whispers, until the whispers become sighs we all perceive but never mention out loud. We hide things, … Continue reading Family Secrets
A little while ago I noticed an article about New Jersey holding a family reunification day to celebrate parents who’ve been able to make changes in their lives and get their kids back after having them taken away due to neglect or abuse. I was struck by the use of the word “reunification” as opposed … Continue reading What We Mean When We Say Adoption Reunion
No, there is no error in the title of this post. Use of the term “birth mother” to mean a woman who has relinquished a child to adoption can be traced back to Pulitzer Prize winning author Pearl S. Buck, who was herself an adoptive mother and who also founded an adoption agency. Buck first … Continue reading My Adoptivemother and My Birth Mother
My pain trumps yours. That's what it feels like when an adoptee hears a birth mother say she can't be honest because it hurts her too much, that she can't talk about it because it hurts her too much, that she can't listen because it hurts her too much. My pain trumps yours. I'm willing to bet … Continue reading When Adoptees and Birth Mothers Clash
Karen Pickell: Between 